Thursday, December 8, 2011

Dementia

Peace be Upon You...




Wednesday is a free day for me as no lectures what so ever..n Tuesday too. Basically I only got 3 days with classes and the rest are holidays yoohoo. Nothing much happening today except for cleaning the room,vacuuming carpet slps sezaman tidak d vacuum dan sbgnya. Basically the weather has been cold quite lately and i really think that its already winter. Frankly i don't have any idea when the season starts to change as the only thing i feel is the change of temperature and thats all. The exact date when autumn turn to winter nobody knows..hmmm. The north side of England has been snowing and its common to receive late snow in Devon as it is located near the sea and really is southwest of England it is.
Turning back to the title today, i've been really worried about myself lately. I experienced quite a worrisome disorder on forgetting things nowadays and just yesterday, I went to a halal butchery to buy some fresh chicken stock and accidentally left my shopping bag loads with food at the shop. Its just that i couldn't really remember what was i thinking at that time. Thank god the moment i was waiting for  the bus before heading home then i realised something just felt wrong then i remembered that i went in the store with a shopping bag but went out without one...
I am really worried right now.. that incident was not the only occurrence that happens lately but many more. I also realised that it is really hard these days to remember names...its okay with faces but not names. When I first arrived in the house, there are 4 new housemates, 3 locals and one Syrian girl and as i said i never really remember their names until its the 2nd month we stayed together. For the Syrian girl i only managed to remember her name on the last 2 days she stayed in the house before she left the house to be closer with her friend. Thats how bad i am. And another thing that bothers me a lot now is that i have difficulty with my utterance. Whenever its time for me to speaks i kinda forgot what to say and what even worse is i actually forgot some words not only in English which is my second language but also in Bahasa Malaysia. I lost for terms and sometimes when i have a very comfortable chat with my friends in Kelantanese  dialec (my favourite language of all as i was born with it), i stutter in the middle of the chat not knowing what to say next. This really drives me up the wall. Paling menyedihkan bila setiap kali baca doa, doa yg sy memang dah hafal sgt, boleh pulak start dgn doa lain pastu disudahkan dgn doa lain...sungguh la sedih. Mungkin jgk fikiran sy melayang tp entahlah. I am really afraid if I ever have dementia in such a young age..but well nobody knows that right. I've been watching this drama about a 30 years old woman having alzheimer at such a young age and it is such a sad drama...maybe i am infecting the drama virus to my mind with the story line a bit haaha. Tapi sy sgt lah risau. Mungkin sbb dah lama sgt saya x gunakan otak saya ni berfikir perkara yg serious, i mean more to educational purpose rather than thinking of something useless like tengok drama, dengar lagu pelbagia acara yg x pakai otak sgt. Memang x guna otaklah. Saya ni bukan plk org yg suka fikir byk penat2 kan otak. I think it may affect my brain cell. Bak kata wardina dlm iklan susu dumex tu, neutron neutron x bersambung kot, sbb itulah dah jd susah nak mengingat dan senang lupa sesuatu..huhuhu. 

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Plymouth, Devon, United Kingdom
Servant of Allah who try to better herself everyday.