Monday, March 11, 2013

The Issue of Readyness: When?

Peace Be Upon You...

Lately I have been bothered with the issue of readiness in the topic of 'When to Marry?'  When will you know that you are ready? There are many arguments from varous people from different level of thinking and piousness I can say. A lot of people keep arguing on the readiness issue that sometimes it make me feel sick about it. And a lot of people too claim that their opinion should surpasses other in terms of determining when exactly you will be ready for marriage. Big sigh here...ughhhh. There is one source (a brother that I've heard) saying that 'when you see all your friends got married and you feel threatened by it then you are still not ready to marry yet' and another person said, 'if you are still very sensitive about simple2 things then you are not yet ready to marry' and many speculations on that made me thinking of it semi deeply. On my side, I just have the thought of what ground do they think what they are saying is true? Well, logically, is it a bad thing if you feel threatened by your friends when were married and you're not. If you are only in the range 18-25 of age, then I can say that this might be true in a sense. But if you are already 30 plus or maybe 40 then will you be able to say that you are still not ready to marry when you are already come to that age. I mean, we people actually have no idea when we are ready when it comes to this matter. The sole thing that I believe and hold on to is the destiny. When Allah say, this is the time for you to marry, then whether ready or not it will still happen, right. Then after having a light discussion on this matter with few mates, I remembered a senior who'd marry in at a tender age of 22. She got married in while on summer holiday back in Malaysia and came back here to finish her study for another year. She said,' Yes, marriage at a young age is hard if you look at it negatively but it does indeed brings you happiness that you've never had before', and asked about if she was ready back then to really marry a person she never knew before at the age of 22 she replied,'The thing is with readiness, you will never know when you willbe ready and sometimes you keep denying it saying you are not ready yet to embark into a new journey of life. But if you stay like that you will never be ready even if you reach a ripe age. I was not fully ready when I got married but the readiness just came to me when I got married and it never really bother me again. What you do in your marriage is counted not the readiness in yourself'. 

Yeah thats about it. I really take the senior's say as something very useful. It is true right? If you keep questioning yourself on when is the time 'ready' will come then it might not actually come even once in your life time but the willingness to try and do it that matter. Peace <3

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Plymouth, Devon, United Kingdom
Servant of Allah who try to better herself everyday.