tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64865239336153843662024-02-20T07:54:43.274-08:00Real QuiltGreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-50651857749502680302013-03-30T15:47:00.001-07:002013-03-30T15:47:40.317-07:00Nearing the Finish Line<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Grateful to God that has given me strength to persevere to finish my write up. Alhamdulillah. I finally submitted my final year dissertation on Thursday the 28th of March. I was very glad that I can finally part ways with my dissertation. The three months relationship with it have given me so much pain, physically and psychologically. I just care less about the result as I think I have given the best I could and the most that I have in myself. More than that it is all tawakkaltualallah. InsyaAllah for whatever result I would get I will have to take it with an open heart. Well, result does not determine how good we are as a human. I remembered my lecturers saying that even if we did not get good result in examinations or test or anything to do with that we are not actually failure. The result is only valid on papers. In real life who you are as a person that counts. Yeah I adore how supportive my lecturers are and how good they are at giving me and my friends countless advice to keep on living. And even if I get not good result for my degree I will not despair. InsyaAllah I will try hard to be a good educator. Teaching skills cannot be shown on papers but how we actually deal with our students. And I would really want to be a teacher that can inspire their life not only in education part but also spiritually. InsyaAllah</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And since Easter break is already here in the UK, I'll embark on a journey long I left. I haven't been anywhere since december last year for the reason focusing on the dissertation. This time InsyaAllah I'll be visiting Holland, Egypt and Jordan. It would be a little tiring as this jaulah will take about 14 days and the day I come back to Plymouth on the 15th April, I'll need to head to class right away. heheh</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-89046669825340733302013-03-11T07:53:00.001-07:002013-03-11T07:53:31.732-07:00Third Spring<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Spring is here. Around my place right now, I can see flowers blooming, all types of hybrid cherry blossom, dandelions, daffodils, magnolia and many wild flowers. They are so lovely and cute in their own ways. What I love about spring is the bright colours all those flowers brought to the dim world winter has hold and the nice sunny sun (maybe not always). Thinking of the nice weather and environment I have around me now slightly reminded me that this is my last spring in Plymouth and this experience will be most treasured T__T.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Probably I will never feel this way anymore. These whole 3 years in the UK is a very warm experience and it not exaggerating if I say the loveliest of all in my entire life. And this actually has making me be more grateful of what I have.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To be back in Malaysia is another wonderful story but I definitely will never forget those sweet times I have here with friends and those wonderful people I met throughout my years here InsyaAllah ^__^</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-44525514328771736312013-03-11T07:52:00.001-07:002013-03-11T07:52:59.330-07:00The Issue of Readyness: When?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lately I have been bothered with the issue of readiness in the topic of 'When to Marry?' When will you know that you are ready? There are many arguments from varous people from different level of thinking and piousness I can say. A lot of people keep arguing on the readiness issue that sometimes it make me feel sick about it. And a lot of people too claim that their opinion should surpasses other in terms of determining when exactly you will be ready for marriage. Big sigh here...ughhhh. There is one source (a brother that I've heard) saying that 'when you see all your friends got married and you feel threatened by it then you are still not ready to marry yet' and another person said, 'if you are still very sensitive about simple2 things then you are not yet ready to marry' and many speculations on that made me thinking of it semi deeply. On my side, I just have the thought of what ground do they think what they are saying is true? Well, logically, is it a bad thing if you feel threatened by your friends when were married and you're not. If you are only in the range 18-25 of age, then I can say that this might be true in a sense. But if you are already 30 plus or maybe 40 then will you be able to say that you are still not ready to marry when you are already come to that age. I mean, we people actually have no idea when we are ready when it comes to this matter. The sole thing that I believe and hold on to is the destiny. When Allah say, this is the time for you to marry, then whether ready or not it will still happen, right. Then after having a light discussion on this matter with few mates, I remembered a senior who'd marry in at a tender age of 22. She got married in while on summer holiday back in Malaysia and came back here to finish her study for another year. She said,' Yes, marriage at a young age is hard if you look at it negatively but it does indeed brings you happiness that you've never had before', and asked about if she was ready back then to really marry a person she never knew before at the age of 22 she replied,'The thing is with readiness, you will never know when you willbe ready and sometimes you keep denying it saying you are not ready yet to embark into a new journey of life. But if you stay like that you will never be ready even if you reach a ripe age. I was not fully ready when I got married but the readiness just came to me when I got married and it never really bother me again. What you do in your marriage is counted not the readiness in yourself'. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yeah thats about it. I really take the senior's say as something very useful. It is true right? If you keep questioning yourself on when is the time 'ready' will come then it might not actually come even once in your life time but the willingness to try and do it that matter. Peace <3</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-78649782934536625742013-03-11T07:44:00.002-07:002013-03-11T07:44:17.584-07:00Against All Odd<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Supposedly in this month of March, Spring is in the mood but out of sudden it started snowing again today. And for me this is a very rare occasion. Well I can't comment deeper on that because I haven't been a citizen of Plymouth for so long to have much experience on snowing in March. Bit still looking at the common pattern of season, winter should already end in February..hmmm. Not to mention the temperature drop quite drastically and today it is 0 degree and phewww so cold yet the wind is so strong that I shivered my way to class this morning. Even though the snow is just light and suitable to be called sleet but still the white substance flying in the mid air mesmerized me. And this mark the third wave of snow this year around. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ahh gonna miss this super cold condition when I'm back to my beloved home heheh</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-89374747882153780532013-02-24T15:22:00.001-08:002013-02-24T15:22:46.830-08:002 Days Away<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Peace Be Upon You...<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the midst of all those busy-ness and commitments, I manage to run away for two days. Away from all the desk job staring at the laptop screen and pressing my brain for ideas and sentences. It was awesome really.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I went to Manchester on Tuesday and Wednesday after a very long time idling in my nest for almost 3 months. The last time I traveled was in early November to Paris. For winter break, I just sit in my room doing nothing and boom three weeks pass in a blink of an eye. I feel wasted. Glad that my visit to Manchester was a great one despite the cold weather on first and super cold weather on the second phewww. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Basically, it is a super fast visit to Manchester. One and a half day is not enough to cover the whole Manchester. Plus the journey from Plymouth to Manchester by bus indirect route took me a round 8 hours. And mind you the bus didn't make any stop at all ( even for gas or for toilet .. dies)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I boarded Megabus ( a cheap bus company in the UK) at 6.45 in the morning and arrived at Manchester Central Bus Station at around 3 in the afternoon. Arrived in Manchester that afternoon, I straight away went to wander at the city center to find whats in store for me. Basically the city is quite a big place to wander around in just a day. They have bus, train and tram that can get you to places and for me the tram is cool...well just to say that Plymouth does not operate trams hoho. Then at 5 pm I went around to find our hotel booked few days before and managed to relax for a little while before heading back to the city center to take few pictures.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then the next day, in the morning I went to the famous Old Trafford Stadium. Not to watch a match coz there's no match on that day (sigh) and went for stadium tour instead. Well, for me...it was okay laa. But if compared to Real Madrid stadium in Santiago Barnebeu in Spain, this stadium is a tad smaller. Inside the stadium, it is covered in all reds..you know why :). After the stadium, I went back to the city center and wander some more, ate some kebab and head back to Plymouth at 4 pm and arrived home 15 minutes to 12 at night. Pheww..it was a brief visit but worth the money spend. A good thing to escape from dissertation for a while ^_^</span><br />
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Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-16158738107774119242013-02-12T18:41:00.000-08:002013-02-12T18:41:10.473-08:00(Not) The Chosen One<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ayat seperti tajuk diatas sering kali saya dengar masa kegemilangan tengok cerita omputeh masa kecik-kecik dulu. Selalu saja ada watak yang menyebut 'you are the chosen one'. Konon orang yang ditujukan ayat tersebut telah terpilih melakukan misi diluar jangkaan yang besar dan juga akan menentukan nasib bumi..ahakss. Juga dalam cerita2 yang melibatkan pahlawan zaman dahulu yang digelar knight dengan baju besi juga menunggang kuda. Ingin dinyatakan disini ialah watak2 yang dilabel menjadi 'the chosen one' ini bukan calang2 orang. Kebanyakannya hero cerita iaitu watak yang tersangat kuat, macho, tidak mati dibedil juga telah menjalani banyak kesusahan hidup wooohh. Oh tak lupa juga tajuk lagu Maher Zain yang sedap itu 'the chosen one' juga ye hehe</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Okay, cukup penjelasan 'the chosen one' yang saya selalu tengok dalam program telebisen. Sekarang berbalik kepada tujuan asal saya menulis hari ni.Ada satu kisah yang ingin saya kongsikan disini berkenaan 'the chosen one':--</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Sejak berhijrah ke bumi Plymouth lebih kurang 3 tahun yang lalu, banyak juga yang telah saya lalui. Perubahan dari segi mental dan emosi juga banyak telah saya lalui. Peralihan dari segi pemahaman kehidupan juga keagamaan tidak terkecuali. Boleh dihitung dari positifnya, banyak yang saya pelajari dalam keadaan sedar mahupun tidak. Dan pada tahun 2011, salah seorang housemate saya telah pergi mengerjakan umrah dengan jayanya seorang diri dari sini mengikut jemaah dari seluruh UK. Kesemua yang menyertai umrah pada musim bunga ialah pelajar yang menuntut di sekitar UK. Seusai pulangnya beliau dari umrah, beliau telah berkongsi pengalamannya semasa mengerjakan umrah dalam usrah mingguan dirumah kami. Tanpa sedar, saya sangat tertarik dengan pelbagai kisah menarik dan pengalaman beliau beribadat disana dan peluang berkunjung ke rumah Allah. Dan sejak itu saya menyimpan hasrat untuk menjejakkan kaki ke rumah Allah sekali sebelum saya pulang ke Malaysia. Hasrat untuk bergerak dari sini adalah kerana urusan disini adalah sedikit mudah dibandingkan di Malaysia kerana semuanya diuruskan oleh akhi yang menyediakan perkhidmatan membawa pelajar2 UK di Warwick. Jadinya saya mula menyimpan wang sedikit demi sedikit dari saat itu untuk mewujudkan peluang tersebut. Dan pada cuti summer 2011 saya pulang ke tanah air dan memberitahu hasrat untuk menunaikan umrah pada mak juga ayah dan respon yang diterima memberangsangkan. Emak siap menjahit 3pasang jubah dan 2 jubah siap beli untuk dibawa ke sini dan membelikan 2 pasang telekung baru untuk saya. Pada masa itu saya rasa seperti saat itu sudah dekat untuk impian saya ke tanah suci. Rasa tidak sabar pon ada juga.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Setahun Kemudian iaitu pada tahun 2012 walaupon duit sudah mencukupi tapi saya tak punyai kawan untuk dibuat teman kesana. Saya juga kurang berkeyakinan untuk merantau seorang diri. Walaupun saya akan bertemu ramai lagi kawan lain dari universiti lain tapi perasaan kurang yakin sedikit menjerat saya. Saya ingatkan tiada rakan dari universiti Plymouth yang mengikut program umrah tahun itu.Sehinggalah seminggu sebelum jemaah umrah bertolak baru saya tahu yang 3 orang rakan dari universiti ini mengikut program umrah tarbawi spring 2012. Rasa sedikit kesal sebab tidak membuat selidikan yang mendalam.. Akhirnya saya terlepas umrah tarbawi tahun 2013. Namun saya sempat kirimkan doa kpd kawan yang pergi kesana untuk disampaikan bila tiba disana nanti. Cuti musim panas 2012, saya pulang sekali lagi ke tanah air. Saya khabarkan pada emak yang saya memang nekad mahu pergi umrah tahun depan iaitu tahun ini 2013. Emak belikan satu lagi jubah buat persediaan dipakai disana nanti. Emak tanya mahu telekung lagi ke, saya jawab tak perlu kerana telekung yang bawa dahulu pun masih baru.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Saya tiba di UK pada 24 September 2012 seusai berakhirnya cuti musim panas dan selamat tiba di Plymouth pd 25 september keesokan harinya. Menumpang 2 hari dirumah rakan berdekatan city center, kami berbincang mengenai umrah tarbawi spring ini. Dan ketika itu juga saya mendaftar untuk mengikuti program tersebut sesi ini. Saya disamping belasan rakan lain mendaftar seawalmungkin untuk chop tempat kerana tempat adalah terhad dan ianya seperti hot cake yang terjual dengan sangat pantas sekali. Bila selesai mendaftar, saya mula memasang angan-angan. Terbayangkan diri sudah berada disana, berjalan bersama rakan selepas solat di masjid Nabawi, terlihat pohon kurma dan unta yang dipakaikan baju indah berwarna warni. Melihat jutaan lautan manusia sedang bertawaf bersama. Entahlah mungkin itu imej yang saya sering lihat di kaca telebisen mungkin. Teringat kisah-kisah yang dikongsikan oleh rakan-rakan yang pernah menjejakkan kaki ke tanah suci dan terasa sangat teruja sebenarnya. Setiap kali menelefon emak atau skype dengannya saya tak lupa untuk bercerita tentang perkara tersebut. Saya siap berangan bila dapat pergi nanti mahu belikan emak jubah juga tasbih, untuk ayah, kopiah, tasbih, minyak atar juga kayu suci. Semuanya terasa indah. Sehingga saya lupa untuk expect the unexpected. Tiada berita yang didengar dari akhi Jo tentang progres umrah kami selama hampir 4 bulan dan saya garapkan yang semuanya berjalan lancar.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sehinggalah sekitar awal Januari 2013, saya terbaca satu post di facebook yang dibuat oleh seorang brother dari Malaysia yang saya subscribe yang menyatakan yang permohonan haji dan umrah tahun ini telah diketatkan. Ia juga berbunyi yang semua wanita yang berusia 45 tahun ke bawah tidak dibenarkan memasuki Mekah tanpa mahram yang juga bermaksud, kaedah mahram tumpang sudah tidak dibenarkan lagi. Saya ingat perkara tersebut hanya tertakluk di Malaysia sahaja tapi sedikit kegusaran sudah terlekat dihati saya namun saya lupakan sahaja. Yakin sangat kan? Dan pada suatu hari bertarikh 18 januari 2013. Hari itu salji turun lebat di universiti. Salji turun pertama kalinya dalam masa 2 tahun. Tahun 2012, saya tidak turun di plymouth. Kami pelajar Malaysia ini memang tengah sibuk bermain salji kerana sudah 2 tahun tidak jumpa. Tanpa saya sedar, sebuah emel dihantar ke inbox group umrah tarbawi 2013 berkenaan progress permohonan umrah kami. Emel tersebut berbunyi serupa seperti post di facebook yang saya baca lebih kurang 2 minggu lepas. Saya tidak terkejut tetapi lebih kepada tiada perasaan saat itu. Rakan-rakan perempuan lain yang juga mendaftar untuk ke tanah suci sudah sibuk berbicara tentang perkara berkenaan dan waktu itu kami masih bermain salji sebenarnya. Saya keliru seketika. Tidak tahu patut rasa ape. Seorang rakan menangis kerana terlampau sedih dengan pernyataan itu. Saya seperti boleh menerima tapi rasa sedikit keliru tentang keadaan tersebut. Dalam emel tersebut, dinyatakn yang wanita yang dibolehkan mengerjakan umrah mahupun haji hanya mereka yang membawa bersama mahram dan juga berusia 45 tahun ke atas. Dan berlaku kes pada tahun 2011, sekumpulan jemaah wanita dari Nigeria telah dihalau pulang kembali ke negara mereka setelah they were denied access to enter the country at the airport. Dan dengan itu saya terfikir, hanya ada dua cara untuk saya ke sana sekarang, iaitu samada membawa keluarga bersama which means agak susah untuk men-selarikan jadual kami kerana masing2 bekerja, baik ayah mahupun abang. Dan adakah mereka willing untuk menemankan saya ke sana juga? Dan jalan kedua ialah dengan berkahwin? Ermm solusi kedua ini terasa seperti susah lah pulak sebabnya calon juga tiada kelihatan lagi.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Saya ingat saya okay-okay sahaja dengan kenyataan yang saya sudah tidak dapat ke tanah suci lagi sebelum pulang ke Malaysia pertengahan tahun ini. Tapi entah kenapa, sejak seminggu dua ini, saya diserang perasaan sedih yang agak kuat bila teringat yang saya tiada rezeki kesana. Saya cuba untuk fikirkan jalan selesainya namun masih kabur sekarang ini. Duit yang sudah saya kumpulkan itu masih kekal dalambank. Sayang mahu guna sebab masih menaruh harapan untuk kesana lagi sebenarnya. Dan minggu lepas, saya sempat berborak dengan adik saya yang pulang ke tanah air dai india tentang perkembangan semasa rumah dikampung. Adik bercerita tentang sepupu (lelaki) yang akan bergerak ke tanah suci dalam minggu ini ditaja oleh rakannya yang bekerja dengan AirAsia untuk mencuba pesawat yang baru dibeli oleh AirAsia. Cemburu. Dan saya makin cemburu bila adik cerita lagi yang sepupu yang sama akan sekali lagi ke tanah suci bulan 5 nanti kerana ditaja bos beliau setelah mendapat keuntungan (yg besar mungkin) dalam bisnes balak beliau. Memang double cemburu. Tersangat-sangat!! Dan bila mendengar cerita anak kepada sepupu yang sedang belajar di Madinah membawa ibu, baba dan opahnya mengerjakan umrah terakhir sebelum berlepas pulang ke tanah air setelah bergraduasi juga membuatkan mata sedikit berair pedih. Oh..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dan bila saya fikirkan balik dan ingat kembali kisah-kisah yang saya dengar dan baca terdahulu. Saya teringat kembali akan 'the chosen one'. Tak semua orang berpeluang menjadi the chosen one. Hanya yang bertuah sahaja akan terpilih. Memang hakikatnya pedih bagi saya untuk menerimanya tapi sedikit demi sedikit ia mengajar saya tentang kehidupan ini. Mungkin ja;an untuk saya kesana agak sukar dan saya tidak tahu yang saya bakalan berpeluangkah untuk ke sana barang sekali seumur hidup? Bila teringat akan rakan2 yang berpeluang ke sana dalam usia yang muda, rasa cemburu tidak dapat dielak tapi saya bukanlah mereka. Rezeki manusia adalah berbeza-beza. Ada yang murah rezekinya dan ada yang agak sukar. Yang perlu dilakukan ialah sabar dan sabar lagi. InsyaAllah. Saya tidak akan putus asa. Mungkin jalan saya ke sana agak sukar tapi niat saya untuk ke sana tidak akan pernah padam</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">://side memo:// bila bersembang dengan adik berkenaan kegagalan saya ke sana, jawapannya senang saja iaitu; 'kau kahwin jelah'..ciss, apa dia ingat nk kawin tu senang macam beli gula-gula dekat kedai pak cik li depan rumah kitorang tu ke T___T</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-75434577343793551332013-02-04T20:07:00.002-08:002013-02-04T20:07:50.888-08:00Menangguh-nangguhkan Kerja<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rasanya pernah menulis sedikit tentang procrastination dulu, hari ini mahu tulis lagi :) Kenapa kita suka bertanggguh dan suka berbuat kerja diminit-minit akhir? Saya amati saya amatlah parah dalam membuat kerja minit akhir ni. Memang rasa taksedapduduk bila buat kerja lambat but there's something in me saying that I can still do it even it is last minute. Entah lah mungkin sebab terlebih keyakinan yang kerja itu masih mampu dilakukan walau dalam keadaan stress yang mencengkam. Lebih yakin juga kadang2 membawa binasa juga ye. Cos last week I had a blow of my own quite gun. Minggu lepas entah bagaimana perasaan yakin yang selama ini menebal dalam diri tak mampu dikeluarkan. Akhirnya saya gagal menghantar penulisan kepada pensyarah yang mengakibatkan keyakinan diri menurun tapi masih lagi sifat bertangguh-tangguh tak dapat dibaiki. Dan saat ini pkol 4 pagi saya bergelut unutk menulis karangan berbaur pedih mata sebab tak tidur. Sifat bertangguh ni tiada lah ubatnya selain rajin dan keinginan untuk merubah sendiri, makanya saya memang perlu berusaha dengan sekuat gigih untuk mengatasi permasalahan ini. Memang sangatlah mengerikan kalau anak2 saya nanti mewarisi sifat buruk emaknya ini. Alahaii T__T</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-54861501965339813412013-02-01T08:19:00.001-08:002013-02-01T08:19:27.191-08:00Sumber Kekuatan<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Masa dan air pasang surut tak tunggu siapa2. (Direct Translation :)</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Kadang-kadang dalam masa suka-suka riang-riang, akan datang masa yang agak menyesakkan. Kadang-kadang kelas penuh jadual sampai makan pon tak meyempat dan tidur pon ayam-ayam sahaja. Dan kadang-kadang datang masa jadual kosong memang tak tahu nak buat apa dekat rumah tapi datang pula kerja-kerja menulis yang berlambak-lambak yang nak kena hantar setiap minggu dan perlu menghadap supervisor yang sama setiap minggu sehinggalah rasa nak muntah kaler-kaler yang menjijikkkan.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sekarang ni, jadual kelas sehari-hari saya kat sini adalah sangat lapang cuma ade 3 jamkelas dalam seminggu. Bunyi macam heaven giler sbb boleh lah bersuka riang ria sembang sana sini,spend masa tengok muvie ke drama ke dengar lagu ke hape ke. Hakikatnya masa jadual kosong nilah yang menjadikan saya rasa sangat tertekan dengan rutin harian sekarang. Jadual kosong tak bermakna kerja tak ade. Sebabkan ini ialah tahun terakhir saya mengaji di sini,makanya untuk menamatkan pengajian yang makan masa berzaman ni, makanya kenalah hantar sesuatu yang melayakkan saya bergraduasi nanti. Dalam tempoh meyiapkan dissertation yang nampaknya tak berapa nak berkesudahan nilah datang ujian perasaan yang agak berat. Tiap-tiap minggu kene hantar completed chapter dan dua-tiga hari lepas tu kene pergi mengadap supervisor dengar komen dan saranannya. Most of the time supervisor sangat2 lah membantu dengan idea yang bernas lagi jitu untuk mempastikan kerja penulisan saya tak nampak dan kedengaran bodoh dan tidak berbatu asas. Tapi kadang2 bila mood swing datang, apa yang diperkatakan beliau akan mendatangkan lubang besar dihati dimana bila balik2 jumpa beliau mesti tak bersemangat dan rasa malas yang amat sangat nk teruskan menulis. Sekarang ni saya dalam proses nk siapkan chapter 3 dimana banyak informasi dan pembacaan perlu dialakukan untuk mampu menulis dan mengomen atas kertas nanti.Disebabkan saya ini sangatlah pemals tahap teratas bilamasuk bab2 membaca, makanya proses menulis ni jadi sangat2 sukar dan tersangkut disetiap level.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dan malang sekali, sepatutnya, hari ni saya kena hantar completed version of chapter 3 tp saya duduk sibuk melayan perasaan stress sbb taksiap tulis lagi. Last2 sekali hantar email dekat supervisor supaya postpone meeting sbb tak siap menulis. Aghh rasa sangat tak bertanggungjawab dan rasa bersalah amat dekat lecturer yang sorang ni. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hari hari pon saya rasa hilang kekuatan nk menulis lagi dan lagi. Disebabkan proses menulis ni takkan habis selagi saya tak hantar satu dissertation yang dah siap, makanya ia akan berterusan sampailah penghujung bulan 3 nanti. Rasa bosan yang teramat bila perlu mengadap benda yang sama hari-hari, minggu-minggu sampai berbulan lamanya.MasyaAllah rasa seksa yang amat kadang-kadang tu. Rasa malas nak pikir dah dan nak main guli je kat bilik. Dan ditambah pulak saya tinggal sorang2 tanpa ada housemate Malaysia yang lain atau jiran2 Melayu yang boleh saya panggil sesuka hati bila hati gundah gulana lagilah menambah stress sehari-hari. Tak boleh nak menyembang dengan orang menambahkan rasa isolated yang amat. Nak telefon mak hari-hari nanti mak dekat rumah risau pulak, nak call adik dekat india, dia pon tengah sibuk pereksa hari-hari. Kakak2 pulak kerja dan sibuk dengan hal dan tugasan masing yang lebih penting perlu dilangsaikan. Makanya saya selalu rasa hilang arah mana nak berpaling. Makin lama saya biarkan makin rasa hanyut dalam arah yang tak betul. Hari-hari dok depan laptop tapi langsung tak bukak Microsoft Word. Yang selalu bukak ialah youtube, facebook,twitter dan macam2 benda tak berilmiah yang lain. Rasa looser gila rutin harian tapi memang escapism memegang saya sekarang ni. Bila bukak word tulis 20 patah perkataan, rasa bosan lepas tu terus bukak benda tak berfaedah. Bilalah kerja nak siap.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dan hari ni saya bangun lewat sbb semalam tak boleh nak lena sbb risau supervisor marah tak hantar chapter 3. Bangun sahaja tidur saya terpikir yang memang apa yang saya buat ni tak betul. Kalau saya nk memohon sesuatu, memang dah tak ade tempat lain nk mintak kecuali dari Allah. Memang itu sahajalah tempat yang paling bagus paling mujarab untuk mintak petolongan. Saya selalu lupa untuk niatkan perbuatan harian saya kepada Allah. Saya lupa untuk niatkan yang penulisan saya ni kpd Allah. Saya buat dengan hati yang tak ikhlas dan maran-marah. Sebab itulah rasa tak tenang datang menjengah selalu dan rasa benci dan malas adalah sahabah yang berkepit dengan saya hari-hari. Teringat pula pesan kawan saya yang katanya, 'Buat dissy ni niat kerana Allah. Sbbnya kita memang akan rasa susah dan penat nk kene baca,fikir dan tulis serat perah idea untuk jadikan penulisan kite menarik. Kalau niat itu kerana Allah S.W.T maka susah kita itu dapat penghargaan nanti. Kita bukan sahaja buat dissy semata2 untuk tamat mengaji tapi dalam pada masa yang sama dapat pahala. InsyaAllah'</span><br />
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Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-75841842627762000832012-12-28T04:33:00.002-08:002012-12-28T04:33:21.287-08:00New Year is Coming<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDi5hoR6-eTlP7jA8XzQNZMHrZ0l6eoZGcgR43gVb6-Wd2EJXN7N8flk142C8kz74ShrZBl9_DYPt2tPHsXODx12BUOOXM2IxHLzXa6_ll44ID5KoqDl2116dD4j4yqDmEPujhORLo4qY/s1600/New_Years_Eve_Fireworks_LightUp_The_Night2012_freecomputerdesktopwallpaper_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDi5hoR6-eTlP7jA8XzQNZMHrZ0l6eoZGcgR43gVb6-Wd2EJXN7N8flk142C8kz74ShrZBl9_DYPt2tPHsXODx12BUOOXM2IxHLzXa6_ll44ID5KoqDl2116dD4j4yqDmEPujhORLo4qY/s640/New_Years_Eve_Fireworks_LightUp_The_Night2012_freecomputerdesktopwallpaper_1920.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://www.fabuloussavers.com/new_wallpaper/New_Years_Eve_Fireworks_LightUp_The_Night2012_freecomputerdesktopwallpaper_1920.shtml">Photo credit</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Less than 4 days, the number on the calender year will hit 2013. I just can't make up my mind what resolutions to choose. Hmm I have never had new year resolution I guess, or even if I have had one, I never really accomplish them haha. Many people back home in Malaysia are planning where to celebrate new year. Another thing, I have never celebrate new year's eve may it be back in Malaysia or here in the UK. I spent most o of the time at home or travelling away from home when it is new year time. And this year too, I will be spending most of my leftover holidays at home finishing assignment and writing the endless dissertation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of writing academic thing really wears me out. My brain just feel like it has been drained and squeezed to the extent that it has no juice left..grrr. And sometimes came the idea of quitting learning somehow.I am really scared about this because I have already had the experience of moving into various institutions and it really gives me goosebumps. I just want to finish this one and be free to start my next stage of life. And when I was down with the negative statement of wanting to quit learning I found this;</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><i>'Bila kamu tak tahan lelahnya belajar,</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><i>maka kamu akan menanggung peritnya kebodohan.</i></span></div>
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-Imam Syafie- </div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I read this quote, it struct me hard in the face and in the hard. This is super true and plus it was narrated by Imam Syafie some more. Yeah at time we will have this giving up phase in studying but we just need to remember the reason for us studying hard and it is none other than for the sake of Allah.</span></div>
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Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-46133210047394257562012-12-26T16:33:00.000-08:002012-12-26T16:38:43.452-08:00Have You Ever Feel Scared that You Killed?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was once very scared that made me killed. I was too scared of a chicken and killed it to get rid my fear of it. It's not funny to me at that time that I killed that poor chicken, but now when I reminisce the incidence it was quite a hillarious story. I can't remember the exact year that incident happen but it might be when I reached 10. The poor chicken to me at that time was very cruel. It looks nasty with it's near bald head, evil eyes glaring at me every time our eyes met and chased me every time I happened to be near him (lets give him a gender and pronoun him :)) I just couldn't figure out what was interesting in this 10 years old girl that he chose to chase me around the compound. He was so annoying and scary at the same time that I took the courage to take a firewood that my mom used to boil water and swung it at him hard. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> The chicken was ugly with baldy head and fewer feather...hukhuk . Not this types of chicken <a href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&tbo=d&rlz=1C1AZAA_enMY450MY450&biw=1129&bih=559&tbm=isch&tbnid=RlOUoCMHvx5P6M:&imgrefurl=http://www.photomalaysia.com/forums/showthread.php%3F64402-Ayam-Kampung&docid=bs_ME9WeRQUzRM&imgurl=http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3151/3038119366_a1569c02e7_o.jpg&w=800&h=533&ei=ypXbUMH4F-W_0QWm_IGQCA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=624&vpy=4&dur=566&hovh=183&hovw=276&tx=140&ty=77&sig=100081333089879956079&page=1&tbnh=140&tbnw=236&start=0&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:0,i:112">Photo credit</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At that very moment I hit him hard with the wood, I ran away to the house and hide. Because I scared he will come back to life and haunt me again with his sharp claw and ugly baldy head. For five minute I hid behind my bed I took the courage to go and check upon him. It was fortunate for me that he lied there motionless and his eyes were wide shut!! I thought to myself for two seconds...'He is dead'. I was glad for only 7 seconds before I realised that I need to face a bigger problem which was ... My MUM. Fortunately for me the evil 'spirit' living in the chicken was killed by me but unfortunate event for my mum that she lost a chicken.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For the next 2 minutes I felt restless not knowing what to do with the dead chicken. I cannot process the chicken as dinner as I was only 10 and have no idea how on earth to do that either. The voice in me told me to throw it away into the neighbour's land, the place with many bushes and tall thatches. It was the best idea I could think of. With all the guts in me and the courage brought by fear of mum, I carried the chicken by the leg and swung it two times before he landed in between the tall thatches without trace. I was doomed if any of the families found out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Around two days after the unfortunate incident of the chicken, mum started to realised that one of her chicken went missing without trace. I was having cold sweat but control my face reaction in front of them and pretending not knowing anything and in fact mum would never suspected me in relation to her missing chicken as I have never showed interest in live chicken anyway. But I could not contain my guilty and slightly confessed that I have some little thing to do with the dissapearance of the chicken. That was how it goes. I confess and shockingly mum said she had already thinking of that thing happening. Mum instinct of her daughter and a chicken affair..Awesome.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This post is not actually to talk about the chicken incident but some awful situation I'm facing right now. The chicken incident is a true story by the way :) ermm. The difference between these two situation is that I'm not in the right place to kill anymore. I have been dealing with dissertation blues which mean final year blues as well. I couldn't kill the dissertation as it is not a living thing and I can't kill my lecturers as well as they are not the one who set the rule to graduate with degree I have to write a dissertation, its the institution that I have to kill. But how? If I'm to kill those people then I have to kill everybody..and of course in this foreign land killing is what err...oh god. Give me strength to go through this thing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I already realised that in order for me to have fear free life I just need to face the thing that scared me the most but yeahh that is not easy man. Not easy, it required a lot of courage and hard work. Not the type that take a firewood and fire the target like I did to the chicken. It is more than that...ohh life is </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is actually my rambling as I'm in the process of writing my dissertation which I haven't continue writing for almost three weeks. I lost my inspiration already and keep doing escapism and deviate from doing what I supposed to do. In a week or so, I will have the second meeting with my supervisor and I'm feeling like my inside is grumbling like there is earthquake and tremor inside there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I really need to find that missing shoes again and keep walking the bumpy road in order to reach the end and ting the bell...arghhhhh</span></div>
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Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-14211140773166796952012-12-26T12:58:00.000-08:002012-12-26T12:58:16.307-08:00Christmas Sale<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Better known as boxing day, Christmas Sale is today the 26th of December. My second year spending it here in Plymouth. With pouring rain ad wet atmosphere,nothing really attracted me today. Plymouth has been wet and breezy for hmm I 'm not sure how long. It is been like this like forever. I started my day with a light cycle to a friend's house to send back his bicycle I borrowed yesterday. The borrowing is essential as I don't have any bicycle to ride neither extra money to buy one heheh but still I have the intention to ride bicycle..hmm. Well we need to have determination in order to do things right. Other than educational yeahh I'm all boost up with power and determination..<strike>Psy </strike>sighh.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Christmas shopping this year is the lamest thing I guess. I didn't buy many things and it is shocking even to myself. I went out of the house at 9.30 all geared up with backpack and bank card thinking if I would spend alot but fortunately ended up only buying 2 things. A non stick pot worth 7, a shirt and an essential wear. Thats all. I'm glad I'm not be friend with syaitan today. Alhamdulillah. </span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-63724983981646590952012-12-23T11:47:00.004-08:002012-12-23T11:47:50.946-08:00Winter Break<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Winter Break has gone for a week now. I am...unfortunately stuck here the student village alone...again. This I have no plans whatsoever of going anywhere outside Plymouth. Basically not because I don't want to but rather things has gotten me tied at the leg. Hmmm ... its financial thing hahhahaaa huhu :( If not I would be happily walking and jumping around my way to Egypt, that was the initial plan for the break. Well then what to do, it is just sth that keep my life sweet isn't it? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Most of my friends have gone to their places all around the world, Iceland, Jordan, Ireland, Italy and many many more. May it be for travelling or attending winter gathering, I'm not very sure of the reasons, just that I wish them take care and have fun yeahh. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ermmm so here I am spending my other two weeks at home not knowing yet what to do. Definitely not studying I guess..Ohh a bad students I am and lazy as hell too. Err...but since I have assignment due a week after the break that worth 3000 words and a chapter of my dissertation to be handed in a week earlier, then like it or not, I will have to work my lazy bum and start thinking about that though T_T</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Argghh I hate the fact that I'm alone here in the house and in foreign and and I miss my mum and my niece ans twin nephews huhu. But can't really get in touch with them at this very moment. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lets end here before the rain start pouring hhooohoo. Literally :(</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-89298390523701095952012-12-23T11:34:00.002-08:002018-10-07T07:40:04.094-07:00Will It Snow For Christmas<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Winter has been emmm... not so generous to us here in Plymouth I guess. I don't kinda remember how was the exact situation like for the previous 2 years but as I can recall, it is nothing like this. It is wet and not to mention gloomy almost every day since...not just winter but since Spring. <strike>Psy</strike> Sigh.. Today is the 22nd of December and it has been raining for 3 continuous days non-stop. On top of that it has also been warning of another flood hitting Devon for the second or countless times I don't know. The weather is not that extreme though. The recorded temperature for today is 14 degree average in day and 9 at night.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My wish for the last winter in the UK is to be able to feel the snow for maybe probably the last time as I don't dream of coming back here again in the coming future hahhaha. Feel like moving back to home country immediately or perhaps residing in any Asian country and not Caucasian country anymore. I only manage to experience snow in my first year. Plymouth is actually not a famous spot to receive snow anyway. It is located near the sea so obviously the location is not the right thing to be receiving that much snow. 2010 recorded light snow in most Devon but several places did got affected by the snow since small numbers of road were closed to traffic.Well, I didn't exactly played much snow in Devon. To experience extreme white snowy feel, I travelled to Scotland and Germany and I say you, it was blast all over. Freezing was the thing to explain. Hmmm so that was the first and seems like the last time I met with snow. Inside me right, I really yearn to see snow again right in front of my eyes maybe for the last time before I left the UK next summer :(</span><br />
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Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-63385287819546907052012-12-23T11:31:00.001-08:002012-12-23T11:31:59.597-08:00Home Alone<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGCC5anPxrXgBrxblE2Nz06BZr8MXKH6akfBb08W8wy-eUcCEI52yKFNVKfOquy8eJEqJ6XSChEq94-viBvG4-bv89uMZSVYn9cdcJbrpzCGEZvxm-L4KdA9NIGRDIhXPWLYydCiXIg3c/s1600/DSC_8699.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGCC5anPxrXgBrxblE2Nz06BZr8MXKH6akfBb08W8wy-eUcCEI52yKFNVKfOquy8eJEqJ6XSChEq94-viBvG4-bv89uMZSVYn9cdcJbrpzCGEZvxm-L4KdA9NIGRDIhXPWLYydCiXIg3c/s640/DSC_8699.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I watched Home Alone like many many years ago, when I was small. I have forgotten how the plot goes like and how the annoyingly adorable kid did to the old man. Many think it was hillarious but for me it was more of a nasty maughty kid torturing the life of his neighbour. Oohh pity that old man really.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm not actually going to write about the movie in this post but rather describing what I am going through right. Sighh. Home alone. All my housemates had gone home for the holiday. Obviously Christmas is a day ahead and I'm stuck in the house not knowing what to do for the next two weeks of the holiday. It is like reminiscing the days I had back home where we will celebrating Raya but this time this is not my raya T__T But I'm not annoying and not naughty at all as I have no neighbours right now hohoho</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Since the village in the new semester are occupied by 90% local so most of the students had gone home. And adding to my loneliness, most of my Malaysian friends also have gone away to lala land of their choice. Oh God, the village is so quiet come day come night. And when it rained, the sound of rain and strong winds be my friends. Ooohh. I don't even have the mood to go out of the house yet as the rain has not stop for three consecutive days. Give me patience Ya Allah. Huuuu</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The only thing that keep me alive right now is my laptop and the speakers. That are the things that reminds me that there are more than empty houses around me. Arghh cannot wait to visit friends at the city center soon....*cricket sounds. But thank God I've never feel afraid to be alone at home, heheh really have father's gene in me..the blood of a brave strong man runs in me indeed :)</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-47060301093498597852012-12-19T09:01:00.000-08:002012-12-19T09:01:06.797-08:00Stuff That Has Gotten Me<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Peace be Upon You...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN3ZdOFM1qMq0UoW-4LZ4AkT4losWzvtgQM-tfnJW2I-3MZwDepiOczikPHjGBDromNejDWj2Wt8PKx6AXL_1qv_c-2RXKFY76AueRESMRsnvLnGSX0zjTX5_LQhuNp3fS1Rdc0FZWdFs/s1600/DSC_0257_marjoneasyHDR-BASIC-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN3ZdOFM1qMq0UoW-4LZ4AkT4losWzvtgQM-tfnJW2I-3MZwDepiOczikPHjGBDromNejDWj2Wt8PKx6AXL_1qv_c-2RXKFY76AueRESMRsnvLnGSX0zjTX5_LQhuNp3fS1Rdc0FZWdFs/s640/DSC_0257_marjoneasyHDR-BASIC-2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Been a while. Business is the right word to explain it all. Rather than business of things, it actually the things that ate me up. Busy is not all about doing beneficial stuff but for, I'm busy doing both beneficial but most of the time useless stuff. Time given for me is more than enough. Well God gave us 24 hours a day, no more no less for everybody equally everyday. Seems like I spent my time recklessly and unfortunately ended up grasping for air at the end of the day not been able to do things that I supposed to do.<br />
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Anyhoo, few days ago marked the first assignment I handed in for the third year. Been a long time since I last wrote any assignment but the writing stuff doesn't really start nor end there. There always complain that came from me saying that I don;t have enough time on doing things. Yeah I knew it myself that it is not the real thing. I just made up all those excuses because I was not taking care of my time management. Most of the time, I wasted my time doing soo many things that will not benefit me in any sense. O Lord, I realised that I was doing such a bad thing but that has been part of myself that I cannot get rid of in any ways. While doing all the disadvantageous stuff I'll ended up choked at neck looking at the time left to finish all my writing works. Hate myself to death for that grrrr.<br />
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And writing works has gotten me hating to the core. Honestly speaking, writing is not my field of preference since school time. I always hate it when it was time to have writing exams either in English or even bahasa. But since I have sunk myself into this battlefield, I have with to, even with the coldest hard accept the cruel fact that I have to write (like all the time gahhh). Writing has been haunting me like forever. Since my course require us to be able to write in every assignments, then I have option than to only the rules. We don't usually have exams and as I can remember, for 5 years of study, combine here and back in Malaysia we only have gone through 3 exams. I don't know either; whether I like exams or writing assignments. Hmmm well human are always ungrateful for what they have. If I have exams then I prefer writing assignments and If I have to only write assignments, I'll probably like exams better. Owhh what a kind of thinking is that. I remember my situation back in UiTM 5 years ago. My study revolves on being able to use your critical and imaginative mind while reading and writing are scarce. After a year, I said to myself,'I'm bored that I was not able to read and write anymore and I was all fed up to drawing and drafting anymore'. The last resort to that, I ended my study there and embarked on a new fresh journey. Now I am all locked up here for almost 5 years with one more year to go. I really hope that I'll be given strength of a super human to endure this hardship to finish my study. I'll all geared up and preparing myself to be back home. Ahhh really really can't wait.<br />
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Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-84892797831489904622012-11-30T10:12:00.001-08:002012-11-30T10:13:47.727-08:00Sehari-hari hidup<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">19. Sungguh manusia diciptakan bersifat suka mengeluh</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">20. Apabila dia ditimpa kesusahan dia berkeluh kesah,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">21. dan apabila mendapat kebaikan (harta) dia jadi kikir (kedekut)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Surah Al-Ma'arij</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Saya sangat tertarik dengan 3 ayat dari surah Al-Ma'arij ini. Benarlah dari tafsir ayat diatas, manusia iaitu kita adalah hamba yang jarang bersyukur dan pula selalu meminta-minta. Suka pula berkeluh kesah. Apabila susah mengeluh dengan kesusahan itu dan apabila diberikan rezeki kita mudah lupa diri dan tidak bersyukur, malah merasa sayang untuk berkongsi apa yang diberikan oleh Allah S.W.T dengan orang lain. Kita selalu merasa tidak cukup dan apabila ingin diberi sedikit harta kepada orang lain, risau pula harta kita berkurang. Astaghfirullah. Begitulah sifat manusia.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Usah ditudingkan kepada manusia lain, saya juga kadang tidak boleh lari dari sifat ini. Apabila sedikit susah dalam pelajaran dan kehidupan seharian, sering mengeluh dan rasa berat hati untuk menghadapi. Selalu pula mengungkit akan ujian2 yang Allah berikan. Memang amat sukar untuk merubah diri menjadi hamba yang sedar tapi itu bukan mustahil. Dan apabila ingin berkongsi sesuatu dengan yang lain mulalah berkira, apa yang akan tinggal dengan saya. Memang teruk sekali pemikiran ini.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Saya sedang berusaha dengan tekun untuk tidak merasa kikir dan kedekut dengan apa yang saya ada tapi kadang2 tewas dengan pujukan syaitan agar tidak berkongsi dengan manusia lain. Sukar sekali sebenarnya untuk punyai rasa berlapang dada ini. Hakikatnya kita sudah tahu sekian lama yang jika kita bersedekah dengan hati yang ikhlas maka balasan Allah kepada kita akan berlipat kali ganda dari apa yang kita berikan tapi untuk ada sifat tersebut amat-amatlah sukar sekali. Semoga kita dapat mendidik hati agar menjadi hamba Allah yang tidak berkira dan tenang dalam menghadapi ujian dan dugaan Allah kelak.</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-84668099745511417342012-11-25T13:13:00.001-08:002012-11-25T13:13:22.037-08:00Berapakah Umur Kita Agaknya?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgts-3OpKHEiEI2F_uyhjcpXDIH-R4iU0ghRzCyiQ4eCe1FvrfBm3t-SwaqLA5V3N7Qen-HLJs1rOo140p3Av7kQnBWgfTZUGzAtn1T-AkS2PE2mHUvZKV5bRcjPwJ1Jrp-BwFAwe-Hqxk/s1600/DSC_0255_easy+marjonHDR-BASIC-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgts-3OpKHEiEI2F_uyhjcpXDIH-R4iU0ghRzCyiQ4eCe1FvrfBm3t-SwaqLA5V3N7Qen-HLJs1rOo140p3Av7kQnBWgfTZUGzAtn1T-AkS2PE2mHUvZKV5bRcjPwJ1Jrp-BwFAwe-Hqxk/s640/DSC_0255_easy+marjonHDR-BASIC-2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hari ni saya chat dengan adik saya. Adik saya di India, saya di Plymouth. Jauh, makanya menggunakan platforn chatting lah yang menjadi penghubung antara kami.Oleh sebab saya dan adik baru saja install Oovoo semalam makanya hari ni kami mahu cuba-cuba gunakan kaedah chat Oovoo pulak instead skype yang kami selalu guna. Hari ni saya tidak skype ke kampung sebab semalam baru saja skype dan sudah mendapat perkembangan keluarga di kampung. Abang dan seorang daripada kakak berada di kampung. Mereka dua-dua pon cikgu makanya cuti sekolah ini haruslah pulang ke kampung. Ke mana lagi mahu pergi jika bukan pulang ke rumah tempat dibesarkan. Tiga anak saudara juga ada bersama tapi masih belum berpeluang mahu melihat keletah si kembar. Bila skype saje mereka sudah tidur. Perbezaan masa 8 jam membuatkan banyak perkara agak terbatas tapi semua itu rasanya sudah terbiasa.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dalam asyik bersembang berbagai perkara yang nyata semuanya isu dunia, adik menulis memberitahu bahawa mak saudara sebelah ibu sudah meninggal. Tersentak seketika. Terfikir sejenak. Berhenti beberapa saat. Berfikir. Hari ini baru saya tahu. Ibu saudara meninggal minggu lepas. Saya tidak kesal kerana tahu lewat. Mengetahui ini sudah membuatkan saya syukur. Sekurang-kurangnya sekarang saya tahu bagaimana keadaan dunia di sebelah sana.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Beberapa hari lepas: Dalam mimpi saya muncul mak saudara yang sudah beberapa tahun tidak saya ketemu. Bngaun paginya tertanya-tanya, kenapa tiba-tiba termimpikan mak saudara. Lalu terjengah di benak, bagaimana keadaanya sekarang, adakah dia masih ada. Rupanya mimpi ini ingin memberitahu suatu perkhabaran tentang beliau. Ya Allah</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Saya tidak sangat mengenali beliau tetapi saya tahu yang hubungan kami adalah ibu saudara dengan anak saudara. Bertemu jarang sekali kerana permasalahan keluarga. Saya ingin sangat mengenali beliau tetapi terbatas atas sebab2 tertentu hajat hanya tinggal hajat. Saya hanya tahu nama panggilan beliau tetapi tidak nama penuh beliau.Sedihnya. Boleh dkira dengan jari bilangan saya bertemu dengan beliau. Mungkin semasa kecil pernah berjumpa tetapi saya tidak ingat bagaimana rupa dan susuk tubuhnya bagaimana. Saya tahu dia sakit dan itu sudah lama,mungkin berbelas tahun dan tidak sembuh sehingga saat dia menghembuskan nafas terakhir</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dan saya terfikir, dia sudah tiada lagi. Hajat saya mungkin tinggal hajat tetapi saya tetap boleh mendoakan dia agar tenang di sana. Dan walaupon saya tidak tahu nama penuhnya saya tetap boleh menghadiahkan doa buatnya dan saya yakin Allah akan menerima dan tahu ia adalah untuk beliau.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sya terfikir lagi, bulan Januari lepas datuk meninggal dunia dan minggu lepas ibu saudara. Ter fikir sejenak, semua manusia yang hidup pasti merasa mati. Itu adalah fakta yang tidak boleh disangkal oleh sesiapa pun. Kita semua manusia, milik Allah. Dan tahukah kita berapakah umur akhir kita.Kita tidak tahu bukan. Bukan sekadar kita tidak tahu berapa umur akhir kita, malah kita tidak akan tahu bila dan dimanakah kita akan menghembuskan nafas terakhir kita. Sesungguhnya kita hidup sekarang juga diatas belas kasihan Allah. Sudahkah kita bersyukr akan apa yang kita ada. Sudahkah kita mengucapkan Alhamdulillah kepada Allah hari ini. Dengan apa yang kita miliki, dengan udara yang kita sedut secara percuma. Sampai bilakah kita akan menikmati semua pemberian Allah ini. Kita hidup seolah-olah tidak sedar yang kita akan mati. Dan apa yang lebih menggerunkan ialah kita tidak tahu sampai bilakah akan kita berada di dunia ini. Ini hakikat yang menggerunkan tetapi belum cukup untuk menggerunkan kita unutk turun bersujud kepada Allah. Mengenangkan bekalan kita yang kita ada yang kita tidak tahu sebanyak mana telah kita kumpul itu, juga tidak cukup untuk membuatkan kita menangis ketakutan saat ini.</span><br />
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Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-16730232840692458152012-11-20T14:49:00.002-08:002012-11-20T14:49:44.216-08:00Procrastination Makes Work HARD<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I usually have lots of work to be done in a week of school days , with homework from lecture and all. But I sometime always wanted to run away from the fact that I have to finish my work on time. Almost all the time I just do other job to escape doing the work that I need to do but at the end of the day I have to work extra harder to finish work that usually due the next day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tomorrow I have a presentation to do on nation state seminar and I haven't finish practising my speech yet..Arghhhhh. I hate myself for that</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-87283883980431625332012-11-16T03:59:00.001-08:002012-11-16T03:59:36.280-08:00Miss<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am a Miss not yet a Mrs. Kidding. That is not the point I want to highlight in this post. Miss can mean different thing in different perspective. The first Miss is your title. The second Miss is fail to attend or reach something at certain point which usually 'miss the bus'. The third one is Miss relating to feeling. I am at number 3 right now. The feeling of missing people or something. I miss home. Very much. It has been nearly three years that I come to live here and I went back home every summer break for the last two years. Two years. I think 2 years is long enough for me to feel and to know what it is like to not live with family. Or maybe I'm such a spoil child. It's both I guess.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I never thought that I would have this feeling of homesickness in me only after 2 years. My first and second years I can say enjoyable. I did not really think about home much. Maybe I was still in a situation of adjusting and liking every new thing that came across in life at that moment. Now after I knew almost everything that I have to know here, there are nothing new to discover. That is my thought. Life has become merely a routine. Morning; go to class. Finish class, come back home and the same thing happen every single weekdays. And the same thing goes with weekends. If at first when first came here two years ago, I was very eager to know places and can't wait to enjoy and go to any places that I heard from seniors. I literally have fun and was enjoying myself being an explorer of my own world. Now that all that thing has become too common for me, I have no heart of visiting anymore. Even the city center has become a boring place. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Even though I will likely to miss this place very much when I go back home next year but I miss my hometown more. Undeniable. Right now, the one that I ask for is myself to be given patience to be able to cope with this excruciating feeling of mine. I hope I will perform well in my studies no matter how hard it is. It is harder to focus when your mind is not with you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nothing more that I wish, I could finish my studies with good impression of myself. May ALLAH Bless us with his kindness. Amin</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On another note: Two of my seniors which are the same age as me are getting married this December. Really happy for them and Barakallah my dear friends ^_^</span></div>
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Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-42509425166022103372012-11-12T10:10:00.001-08:002012-11-12T10:25:25.052-08:00In The Name<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sk3IpdJ6jOQ/UKEyk77-sMI/AAAAAAAAA6E/2DLfc3IJwD8/s1600/DSCN9303+tiger+baguette_easyHDR-BASIC-2_resized.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sk3IpdJ6jOQ/UKEyk77-sMI/AAAAAAAAA6E/2DLfc3IJwD8/s640/DSCN9303+tiger+baguette_easyHDR-BASIC-2_resized.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ada roti namanya harimau. Kulit dia keras dan agak berkerutu tapi dalamnya lembut dan sedap. Saya suka!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Apa nama anda? Anda menyukainya? Nama moden atau nama klasik? Apa maksud nama anda? Anda tahu?. Nama bukan perkara remeh. Ia adalah representasi kepada peribadi seseorang. Mencerminkan pemilik nama tersebut. Apabila disebut ia adalah doa kepada pemilik nama. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nama saya apa maksudnya? Apa nama saya ye...hmmm. Dulu nama saya tiada makna. Masa sekolah rendah dulu-dulu, ada rakan pernah bawa sebuah buku tajuknya, 'Maksud nama-nama Islam' ke sekolah. Emak dan ayah tak pernah bagi tahu saya apa maksud nama saya jadi saya rasa ingin tahu. Cantikkah maksud nama saya?</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Ada kawan-kawan yang namanya bermaksud puteri, kemakmuran, keindahan,pemimpin dan banyak lagi yang saya sudah lupa dek dimamah tahun. Saya cari dalam buku berkenaan. Berkali-kali. Tapi tak jumpa. Saya sedih. Kenapa nama saya tiada maksud. Rasanya ada saje orang lain yang sama nama dengan saya, tak lah pelik sangat kot nama saya tapi kenapa nama saya tiada dalam senarai buku tersebut. Saya sedih. Tapi saya tak beritahu emak saya sebab saya rasa itu bukan penting sangat pon. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Masa kecik, sebelum masuk tadika, saya ingat lagi, emak ajar saya belajar tulis nama saya atas kertas sebelum pertama kali pergi tadika. Saya duduk depan tv dan emak berhenti jahit baju dan ajar tulis nama saya guna huruf besar. Tulisan saya tak comel tapi boleh difahami. Emak ajar tulis huruf H, huruf R, huruf O dan 4 lagi huruf lain. Emak ajar tulis nama ayah sekali. Lepas belajar tulis nama dari emak, saya suka tulis nama. Semua benda saya nak tulis nama saya. Kerusi,meja, buku tulis, kain emak dan macam2 lagi tapi sesetangah benda emak marah kalau tulis nama. Saya pon ikut ajelah, sebab saya sayang emak saya. Tapi masa hari pertama masuk tadika saya menangis, berpaut dekat kaki ayah sebab saya tak pernah berpisah dengan emak saya. Ayah marah saya, saya takut bila ayah marah. Dulu ayah garang, tapi ayah dah tak garang lagi sekarang. Saya pon pelik. Walaupun garang ayah tak pernah pukul saya walaupun saya buat silap. Saya selalu nak dapat nombor satu dalam kelas supaya ayah gembira. Ayah baik sekarang hehe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Masuk sekolah rendah, saya suruh kakak tulis nama saya dekat semua buku teks, buku latihan dan buku tulis saya. Saya suka tulis nama tapi tulisan saya tak cantik macam tulisan kakak. Tulisan saya kecik dan kurus. Tak cantik. Tulisan kakak bulat-bulat dan serong sikit. Saya suka. Tapi kakak tak suka saya suruh dia tulis nama dekat buku saya. Dia suruh saya tulis nama sendiri, lepas tu saya bagi tahu emak. Kakak pon marah saya, dia kata saya suka mengadu ^_^. Kawan pon puji saya tulis nama dekat buku cantik tapi saya tak bagitahu mereka kakak saya yang tulis. Saya suka diorang puji saya. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Masa sekolah rendah, kawan tanya saya, ' apa nama awak?' Saya suka buat kawan baru dulu-dulu. Saya akan jawab dan tanya nama diorang pula. Saya suka bila mereka panggil nama saya macam mak panggil saya sekat rumah sebab saya tahu itu nama saya. Semua kawan2 saya panggil nama saya macam dekat rumah sampailah saya darjah enam. Saya sekolah kampung, semua kawan saya mak ayah saya kenal. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nampaknya saya dah besar. Umur saya dah 13 tahun. Saya tak boleh sekolah dekat dengan rumah lagi. Saya kene keluar rumah awal, naik bas pergi sekolah. Saya tak suka sangat tapi saya suka sekolah tu sebab dia sekolah baru. Pelajar tak ramai, tak sesak sangat. Minggu pertama sekolah saya tak ramai sangat kawan. Saya masuk kelas tapi tak ada satu pun kawan masa saya sekolah rendah satu kelas dengan saya. Saya sunyi tapi saya rasa saya ok aje. Orang tanya nama saya, saya jawab. Nama mereka sedap-sedap lah saya rasa.Tak macam nama saya. Nama diorang moden-moden. Tak ada sorang pon nama macam saya. Kawan sekolah rendah saya sepatutnya sekelas dengan saya tapi dia dah pindah. Sekolah dekat rumah. Saya sedih sangat. Nama dia lebih kurang dengan saya tapi dia dah tak ade dalam kelas lagi. Rakan semeja saya tanya kenapa budak tu pindah? Saya cakap tak tahu. Dia kutuk nama kawan saya. Dia kata, 'Oloh nama apa macam ni?' Dia mulut jahat. Saya nak marah tapi nama saya pon macamtu jugak, saya sedih. Saya tak suka kawan semeja saya. Dia selalu buat saya rasa tak selesa.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Masa sekolah menengah kawan2 saya tak panggil nama saya macam mak panggil dah.Saya rasa dah besar. Saya rasa geli. Nama tu nama manja saye. Kawan saya panggil nama penuh saya tapi macam panjang la pulak tapi saya redho je. Kalau ade orang tanya nama saya, saya reluctant nak bagi tahu. Sya tak suka sebab diorang selalu cakap nama saya klasik. Saya benci orang kutuk nama saya. Kalaupon nama diorang moden dan sedap janganlah kutuk nama saya. Tak baik tau. Tapi saya tak bagi tau emak saya sebab saya rasa saya dah besar masa tu tapi saya masih selalu ngangis kalau saya rasa susah. Kawan baik saya panggil saya guna nama penyanyi lelaki British. Saya pon tak tahu kenapa tapi mungkin sebab saya selalu dengar lagu nyanyian kot tapi saya takdelah minat sangat pon. Kawan2 lain pon ikut panggil macam tu jugak. Saya tak kisah asal jangan panggil nama pelik2 dan nama saya dekat rumah. Pernah sekali ustazah pelik dengar kawan panggil nama saya, saya pon tak tahu nak jawab ape hehehe</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bila masuk universiti, saya tukar balik nama panggilan saya dekat kawan2 saya. Mereka panggil saya macam dekat rumah. Saya tak suka sangat tapi saya tak suka nama penyanyi tu. Dia bukan Islam pon. Tak syoklah gitu kan. Kalau orang tanya nama saya, saya bagi tahu nama pendek. Diorang still tanya nama penuh.Saya tak nak jawab tapi macam tak mesra lah pulak kan. Mereka masih komen benda yang sama, eh klasiknya nama. Rasa macam mahu tumbuk aje muka mereka tapi mak ajar saya supaya sabar. Jadi saya pon tak ambil hati. Selama 20 tahun, saya ingat nama saya tak ade maksud. Pernah saya tanya emak dengan ayah, siapa yang bagi nama saya ni? Mak cakap orang alim dekat tepi rumah atuk. Tapi kenapa nama saya tak ade maksud mak? Mak tak tahu nak jawab ape. Ni mesti kes mak tak tengok buku dulu ni sebelom bagi tahu encik polis dulu-dulu masa tulis dalamsurat beranak ni ehhehe. Saya mulalah nak emo tapi malaslah emo-emo nanti mood saya tak baik</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Masa umur 21, saya baru tahu yang sebenarnya ejaan nama saya tu yang silap sebenarnya. Nama saya ada maksud. Banyak pulak tu. Dan yang paling penting, makna disebalik nama saya sangat indah, sehingga buatkan saya hampir menitiskan air mata. Dulu saya benci nama saya sebab orang kutuk klasik dan legend la, apa la tapi sekarang saya sangatsuka nama saya. Maksudnya baik sekali yang tak pernah saya tahu pon sebelum ini. Jadi saya tak jeles lagi dengan nama kawan saya.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dua hijrah. Tenang dan mendamaikan. Itulah maksud nama saya. Indah bukan? Nama saya ini adalah seperti nama anak Nabi kita Muhammad S.A.W. Dua hijrah derive daripada dua hijrah yang dilakukan oleh puteri baginda yang mengikuti 2 hijrah. Pertama; hijrah ke Habsyah selepas beliau berkahwin dengan Uthman Bin Affan. Rombongan Kaum Muhajirin ke Habsyah (kini Ethiopia) membawa 11 orang wanita dan beliau salah seorang dari mereka. Mereka meninggalkan kesenangan yang dikecapi untuk sama2 berdakwah. Hijrah kedua beliau adalah Hijrah ke Madinah dan beliau merupakan Puteri Rasulullah yang melakukan 2 kali hijrah dan atas sebab itulah beliau dikenali dan digelar sebagai 2 hijrah.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rasanya terlalu besar dan mulia pengorbanan yang dilakukan oleh puteri nabi yang melakukan 2 hijrah ini. Satu penghormatan yang amat besar bagi saya untuk membawa maksud nama ini. Sesungguhnya saya hanyalah insan yang hina yang terlalu banyak melakukan dosa setiap hari. Tetapi saya merasa sangat bersyukur kerana nama yang baik yang saya idam-idamkan selama ini semamangnya telah ada pada saya sejak saya dilahirkan lagi cuma saya sahaja yang kurang ilmu pengetahuan untuk sedar akan itu. Nama itu menggambarkan peribadi pemiliknya, maka saya sangat berharap yang saya dapat membawa maksud baik nama saya dan tidak mencemarkan nama yang telah ibu dan ayah berikan kepada saya. Mungkin saya tidak sehebat puteri rasulullah tetapi I really hope that I can live up to what my name suppose. InsyaALLAH. Hijrah pertama telah saya lakukan setibanya saya di Bumi UK ini. Semoga perubahan yang baik ini dapat dikekalkan dan diteruskan dan agar saya dapat sentiasa memperbaiki kelemahan diri setiap hari untuk menuju ke Jalan Allah. ^_^</span><br />
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Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-39208794492016111642012-11-11T06:19:00.001-08:002012-11-11T06:19:22.735-08:00What do we own?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nothing. That is a true statement. We own nothing. But you say, we have house, cars, money in the bank account. If that are not ours then who they belong to then? Allah. Simple.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Kita selalu terfikir untuk memiliki sesuatu yang lebih besar atau grand dari apa yang sudah ada bukan? Inginkan kereta mewah, gaji yang lebih besar dari apa yang kita terima sekarang. Mahukan makanan yang lebih lazat dari apa yang kita makan sekarang, mahu rumah yang lebih selesa dan macam-macam lagi yang kita mahukan. Tapi sedarkah kita yang semua yang kita miliki sekarang itu bukan milik kita.Semua itu pinjaman. Pinjaman dari Allah yang bermurah hati memberi kita peluang untuk merasa nikmat dunia buat sementara dan dalam masa yang sama menguji ketaqwaan kita terhadapnya. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bukan sekadar harta dunia ini pinjaman tetapi jasad dan nyawa kita juga adalah pinjamn terbesar dari Allah kepada kita. Kita mungkin berasa selesa dengan apa yang kita ada dan berasa bangga dengan kesenangan yang kita miliki dan itulah selalunya yang melalaikan kita. Kita lupa yang dunia ini hanyalah pinjaman dan terlupa untuk memperlakukan ia sebagai barang pinjaman. Kita lokek dan tamak akan kebendaan dan selalu alpa akan mereka yang tidak berkemampuan disekeliling kita. We forgot that we shouldn't be enjoying all that we have on own self but with others as well. We often become selfish with what we have and become blinded with the joyous life that the world serves us. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are too immense enjoying ourselves until it is time that Allah take awy all those wonderful things that we used to have in our life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Therefore, before Allah take away all of the nikmah that He gave us, let us spread the joy and share it with people. Don't be stingy because it won't benefit us. Bersedekahlah dengan hati yang ikhlas. Jangan hanya memberi apabila diminta tetapi berilah dengan hati yang ikhlas dan zuhud mengingati Allah kerana itu adalah lebih baik</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-65554790073872895122012-11-05T15:23:00.002-08:002012-11-05T15:23:31.089-08:00School Again<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tomorrow I'll be going to school again. Not to teach but to be taught. This is the first time I'll be going to <a href="http://www.sirjohnhunt.plymouth.sch.uk/">Sir John Hunt Community Sport College</a>. Located in Plymouth but a little outskirt. Since transport won't be provided for me, then I'll need to find my own way to the school which definitely gonna be taxi. Hope that the school gonna be nice to me. Have so many task to do in school but really hoping that it'll be fun experience since this the last school experience I'll have in UK. It's gonna a tiring day I bet with the cold weather recently and I'll have to brave the cold it seems.</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-5118522619716651922012-11-02T12:24:00.003-07:002012-11-03T10:27:42.302-07:00Paris: Not So Much Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtTmP8I7xRzpexSflnyxsKlgLBWlR8QtAj7lyWn8jh82LfFIGXF3uvn0LhECGNz7-Ax0E8OliKuffGZVGyZ72qjzOjhyphenhyphen9pLviapuUmcex6b9rPty7bSxFtIMr_VGKrVkeY2pLtIsjuGuw/s1600/DSC_0061.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtTmP8I7xRzpexSflnyxsKlgLBWlR8QtAj7lyWn8jh82LfFIGXF3uvn0LhECGNz7-Ax0E8OliKuffGZVGyZ72qjzOjhyphenhyphen9pLviapuUmcex6b9rPty7bSxFtIMr_VGKrVkeY2pLtIsjuGuw/s640/DSC_0061.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Eiffel Tower</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Paris mungkin terkenal dengan jolokan kota cinta. Malah betapa banyak rancangan tv, drama, atau filem yang berlatarkan kota paris untuk menunjukkan yang kota paris Paris itu sangat sejoli untuk pasangan yang dilamun cinta. Dan selama ini saya juga telah termakan segala apa yang dipaparkan di televisyen dan akhbar tentang betapa romatiknya kota Paris. Entahlah,memang mudah termakan dengan hasutan. Makanya saya pon pergilah ke Paris untuk merasa istimewanya Paris dengan 'cinta'. Bukannya untuk mencari cinta tetapi saja mahu melihat betapa istimewanya Paris dan struktur yang paling intim dengan Paris, Eiffel Tower. Perjalanan dari London Victoria station ke Paris mengambil masa lebih kurang 9 jam dgn bas. Disebabkan kekurangan kewangan maka bas adlh pilihan yang tepat memandangkan penerbangan teramat tidak berbaloi bagi pelajar seperti saya ni. Bas pukul 10.30 malam bertolak dari Victoria bergerak menuju Dover dan bertukar ke atas feri sebelum tiba di stesen Galleini di Paris pukul 5.00 pagi. Saya mulakan perjalanan pagi terus melulu ke Eiffel Tower dalam keadaan pagi yang sejuk bersuhu 0 degree. Bila sampai, saya rasa macam tak boleh sorok rasa kecewa bila tengok Eiffel Tower yang digembar-gemburkan itu hanyalah seperti besi berkarat bangunan tak siap huhuu. Atau mungkin saya saja yang tak pandai menghargai seni? T__T Puas saya keliling Eiffel Tower untuk cari spot cantik untuk diambil gambar tapi rasanya hampa saja yang dapat. Rasa menyesal pon ade sebabnya datang sejauh ini untuk ambik gamba bangunan besi x siap. Rasa tertipu dengan segala keindahan yang digambarkan dalam tv, padan muka sendiri sbb terlalu terpengaruh dengan tv huhuhhu. Puas saya tengok manalah yang romantik sgt dengan benda ni. Alahai pening kepala kejap. Orang lain asyik dudukambil gambar depan tower saya plk sibuk dk makan biskut dan roti. Apa2 jelah mereka ni. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Musee Du Louvre a.k.a Museum Love</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lepas kecewa dengan besi buruk ingat nk jugalah masuk muzium cinta tengok potret monalisa tapi alih2 kawan pulak kene rompak dompetnya oleh pencopet. Memang kejadian tu merosakkan mood kami untuk terus berjalan keliling Paris. Pencopet2 di Paris ni memang cekap sebab kawan saya memang x perasaan langsung yang begnya dah terbukak lama. Habis hilang kad2 penting dan duit euro.Kasihan kawan saya tu. Makanya masa kami selama sejamdihabiskan dibalai polis untuk buat laporan polis.Sepnjg sejam disitu, hampir 5 orang berbaza masuk dan keluar utk buat laporan kehilangan beg duit. Memang dahsyat sungguh kota Paris ni dengan pencopetnya. Hajat dihati untuk tengok potret monalisa tak kesampaian bila balai polis menjadi tempat yang lebih selesa untuk duduk duduk berborak. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cukuplah komen yang tak berapa indah saya catatkan untuk Paris ni. Nanti ada yang tak sependapat pula. Rasanya terpulang pada individu tertentu kot untuk manifestasikan istilah kota cinta ni. Bagi saya Paris bukanlah tempat yang saya akan lawati buat kali kedua. Cukuplah datang sekali pon sudah memadai.Sekadar menjejakkan kaki dan tahu bagaimana tempat ini. Tiada yang istimewa dari kampung sendiri rasanya heheheh</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Arc Du Triomphe</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Saya pon tak tahulah apa yang dikatakan Paris ni sebagai kota cinta. Cinta manusia tak kekal bagi saya.Sekadar tengok besi buruk dan potret monalisa tu bukanlah cinta namanya ataupun saya yang terlalu pesimistik. Peace</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-40276104844225520272012-10-22T13:51:00.001-07:002012-10-22T13:51:09.276-07:00Died down<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace Be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Almost a month since I started final year. Year has been ermmm how do I say...okay. Well, I have been to class for 4 weeks and next week I'll be having a week off. No special holiday in the UK but my university call that reading week so they give students one week off to actually read. And I'm telling you my honest confession that reading is not on my list at all ahahha. I think maybe it's called study week in Malaysia but here we are not getting any exams in the near future. I have been thinking of going to Paris for few days and come back to prepare for dissertation. Hmm my classmates and I are all in dissertation mood swing now cos we are all expected to start writing 10 thousand words research to be able to finish third year. That sounds excruciatingly pain the ^_^. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Paris might be the last place I'll visit in Europe I think. I have a feeling that I have had enough of Europe even though I haven't been to all countries yet. I just have the feeling of not wanting to travel anymore. And since this is my final year here in the UK, my mind keep thinking of heading to my homeland and start a family of my own. Well I'm a dreamer but that's normal thing to request right. At my age now, starting a family is sth that is common and most of my friends have already did. I remember a sentence that my friend said to me last year listening to my stories of having plans to travel around Europe to see the world,' I do have plans on traveling but if I have the opportunity to be with my family and the people I love, then that is more rewarding than traveling'. It kinda grows on me lately. I realised that my love for travelling have slowly died down. Yeah, I too think that if I am able to be with my beloved family and loved ones, then travelling is not sth that I'll look forward to anymore. I'd rather spend my whole time with them. And luckily enough that friend of mine is going to get married soon in February next year and obviously I won't be ableto attend her wedding cos I will be very busy struggling to finish my dissie here. oh my god, I can't wait to go home... I just think that 3 years is enough for me to learn and to really feel how's life in foreign land. It taught me a lot; on life and on how to be a better human.</span></div>
Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486523933615384366.post-22928119530909515442012-10-15T11:56:00.002-07:002012-10-15T11:56:29.780-07:00Is it Envy or Is it Jealousy?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace be Upon You...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In relation to the previous post of Jealousy, this time I will continue writing on the same title. Thinking back at my childhood time, I remember very vividly when was the exact time that I first develop this bad feeling of mine. It was when I just turned 8. I was in standard two at that time and it happened to be that I was with my 3 other relatives in my class. I was considered the oldest among us 4 as they all are my cousins' child so I am their parents' cousin (mind you my family has a quite awkward family tree, where the age difference between cousins and uncles/unties are huge by range of 8 to 60+ years of the youngest and the oldest) Among us all I can say that I'm the most average in living my life but in terms of intelligence we are all rather at the same level. Genius issue didn't exist at this very moment. At school I was in good terms with them 3 (2 girls and 1 boy, I will describe them by N, S and R) where we shared almost evrything we have. I shared my home brought food with them as my mom always pack food from home in order to save money and we were very happy with our little life. I can remember that one of them always give me 20 cents, because I think she pitied me but I never really understand her action back then. What a bummer I was duhhhh. Everything was smooth sailing until one day, when we finished our monthly exam and the teacher was distributing our answer sheet back to us. It was English subject and I didn't know why but I happens to love english very much. There are no 'teacher" or 'more knowledgeable other' in the family that taught us english as my parents can't speak nor understand english well but I came to like english and I read and watch tv programmes in english to polish up my english skill. Okay back to the exam story; my teacher said I was good because I got 99% but that wasn't actually good enough to beat another rivalry of mine. She was N and she got 100% and at that very moment the teacher (used to be my favourite teacher in school) said she had a present for those who got 100%. The present was a children story book. Actually the present was not all that dashing but as an 8 years old girl, I was mesmerized by the colourful pages of the book and started developing envy for her. It is obvious that I really want that book because I can't afford to buy one on my own or even if I told my mum to buy it for me, she has too many other important things to settle and won't make any difference if I got the book or not. What makes me even sadder was that our 1 mark margin. I thought the teacher would give another consolation prize for those who achieved second but to my disappointment there was none. I was questioning the validity of her marks compared to mine and the fact that she got outside help from tuition center that I obviously can't afford at that time. What an ungrateful kid I am..uuhhh T_T</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After that incidence, I was so determined to get 100% in every english test and Alhamdulillah luckily I did. I was obviously happy to have achieved such a mark and you know,I was still a kid at that time. I was thinking, would the teacher give me any present for scoring 100%. The answer is a big 'NO'. I didn't receive any present what so ever it made me truly sad and dissapointed at the same time. I really want to have that lovely storybook. I didn't even tell my parents I got 100% and they only knew it when I brought back my record book. Somehow, that incident did mark my first time of feeling jealous towards my friend. Alhamdulillah, eventhough I was still a kid at that time, I didn't let the angry and jealous feeling of mine drown me away. I did manage to banish my dissapointment of not getting any prize for scoring in exams away and keep on my determination to keep first place in my hand. I just let the incident slide and continue schooling as usual and enjoy every english class I attend. I realised that my passion in english grew stronger and I started helping my friends with their readings and pronunciation problem and I enjoyed being a help to them since then. My school is in kampung area so not many students are exposed to english. Everyone prefer using their native language and very rarely listen to english medium context. I learned it the hard way because I can't afford going to extra classes at the town so I read on my own, listen to english news on the tv and do some other work to polish my english and I did achieve what I want. I was able to be the highest achiever in my class and yes the teacher did saw my passion and praised me. Her praise was the happiest thing I ever received at the age 9. After some time passed by, I didn't really think of getting prize anymore and we (friends) were all in good terms despite that I envied her back then. Not long after we reached 9, two of them (N and R) switched school leaving me with S. I felt a little lost but life continues. After they've gone, I have no competitors that always want to snatch 1st place from me anymore and I can say my envy and jealousy has died down for that time until it strikes back a few years later in secondary school..sighhhh</span><br />
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Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02016974687626745036noreply@blogger.com0